The heart of a father

“My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:1‬

The Desolate Wilderness Reveals

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Psalm 107:5 Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation.
8 Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

 
Some wandered in the desolate wilderness, finding no way to a city where they could live.

desolate adjective |ˈdɛs(ə)lət |
1 (of a place) uninhabited and giving an impression of bleak emptiness.
2 feeling or showing great unhappiness or loneliness.
verb |ˈdɛsəleɪt | [ with obj. ]
1 make (a place) appear bleakly empty.
2 make (someone) feel utterly wretched and unhappy.

wilderness |ˈwɪldənɪs| noun [ usu. in sing. ]
an uncultivated, uninhabited, and inhospitable region.
• a neglected or abandoned area.

The words stood out to me very strong this morning: desolate, wilderness, city, live…

The quoted Psalm 107 has turned up many times the past weeks as it first was mentioned by my friend, father of a young 12 years old daughter with severe headaches and terrible side effects! It has dominated my focus, my prayer-life, my communication since I was asked to “pray for Joelle”! With it, I began a journey of hope, seeking God in a deeper way, frustration and even doubt. It caused me to question everything we normally do, like praying, encouraging and comforting. It became a deep questioning my habits, my words, even my relationship with The Word, Jesus Christ! I have been communicating my hope and my insights. I have been communicating my doubt, fear and frustration. It has been a journey between knowing and doubting.

Don’t get me wrong. My doubting never, ever concerned my faith, or even God in His almighty presence. No it was all about the automatic actions, words and thoughts.

I felt myself wandering in the desolate wilderness, trying to find a place, a city, to live! To settle in the truth, to feel save in the Word, to trust Him and to live in His Presence.

Every “thank you Rob” from the father after releasing encouraging words or activating a mighty prayer network, came back as a boomerang when the report was still pain and only a few times the report was release! I have been and still am crying out in that wilderness together with the wonderful friends, worshippers and intercessors.

Rereading the Psalm this morning and the Word that came with it all brought me back to this one and only relevant question: Do I really, unconditionally love God!

Moved by the need, we began a journey and I found myself in a crisis of faith and trust. The words that came in this morning sounded like: He asked him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved that He asked him the third time, “Do you love Me?” He said, “Lord, You know everything! You know that I love You.” “Feed My sheep,” Jesus said.

This Advent has been and still is totally different from any other Advent I ever celebrated. To be honest, it is the first Advent I “celebrate”, walking from nothing to everything, from weakness to strength, from loneliness to the beauty of all! I has been a journey of questions or maybe this one big question: Do You Really Love Me? How sad after so many years that this question has to come up, the question where it all supposed to start!

The Desolate Wilderness Reveals

Hungry and thirsty, to the point that my soul fainted…
Crying out in my trouble…

And He led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation. Oh that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men! For He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

 

Author: Rob van't Wout

Dutch by birth, Sweden by choice, Kingdom by grace

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