The heart of a father

“My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:1‬

Seek to understand

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The following is a great exercize in our communication with God and each other. Enjoy this different post which totally fits in my desire to hear! When you are a leader, a intercessor, a husband/wife or a father/mother, it is a great (and confronting) tool!

By Stephen Covey,
American educator,
author, businessman,
and keynote speaker

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

Rate yourself on a scale from one to ten, with “one” being very poor and “ten” being outstanding, with regard to your mastery of Stephen Covey’s 5th Habit of Highly Effective People:

First seek to Understand, then to be Understood

Consider reducing your score by one point if you:

  • Pretend to listen
  • Selectively hear only certain parts of the conversation
  • Miss the meaning of what the person is saying
  • Listen with the intent to reply
  • Filter what is being said through your own life experiences and frame of reference
  • Prematurely decide if what is being said has value, before the speaker has finished

The behaviors listed above are often called autobiographical listening.

EXERCISE:
To gain true and deep understanding of another required empathetic listening. Add points to your score if you:

  • Give the speaker your undivided attention
  • Are open-minded and nonjudgmental
  • Observe and sense the emotions behind the words being used
  • Are quiet and allow some time for the other person to fully express their view. Open-ended questions may be helpful here to make sure you gain the full depth of their viewpoint
  • Follow clarifying questions with attempts to restate what you believe they said.

Author: Rob van't Wout

Dutch by birth, Sweden by choice, Kingdom by grace

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