The heart of a father

“My son, don’t forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commands;” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3:1‬

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When the Lord has touched your Mouth…

To those that carry the New

It’s amazing how well received you are if you play along and help maintaining the Old, although carrying the New.

But the moment they realize you didn’t come to confirm the Old but to Declare the New, silence and rejection becomes your part.

It’s hard when the values of the Old become strongholds that resist the New.

Defending the Old as being the Now means that the Old will always be old and only becomes older.

In the same time, declaring the Old as being the Not is declaring your Tree doesn’t has Roots and your House doesn’t has a Foundation.

Very few realize that there is a progress involved when we understand the renewal of the Old by embracing and recognizing the New.

Thinking generational means thinking progression, legacy and infinity.

And remember, Old is not Wrong but… Old and of course, New is not per definition Good, but just… New.

Old only become Wrong when its refuses to understand that it’s a stepping stone to the next level.

Generations are not a part of a repeating itself system but with deep honor involved to the values that are brought by the Old, a progressive process of Restoration and Renewal.

When we become part of the “Behold I will do a New thing”, we become part of a Kingdom bigger Perspective. We become part of the Taking back what the enemy has stolen.

When you become the Voice of the Old by rejecting the New, you become the personification of what is supposed to be a process, not a person.

Now the word of the Lord came to me, saying, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Then I said, “Ah, Lord God! Behold, I do not know how to speak, for I am only a youth.” But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am only a youth’; for to all to whom I send you, you shall go, and whatever I command you, you shall speak. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you to deliver you, declares the Lord.” Then the Lord put out his hand and touched my mouth. And the Lord said to me, “Behold, I have put my words in your mouth. See, I have set you this day over nations and over kingdoms, to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.“”

Jeremiah 1:4-10 ESV

…to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and to overthrow, to build and to plant.

10 Things One GrandDad Wishes Every Dad Knew



Listen my son to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.
(Prov. 4:1)

Forty-five years ago I became a father for the first time. At age 22 I was as green and wet behind the ears as you can get when it came to being a father. I didn’t know much but I was foolish enough to believe I could pretty much figure it out on my own. I wish I had known what I know now, and really sought the wisdom and counsel of my Dad and other godly men more often. After all, my Da and Mom raised six kids. I think they might have known a thing or two about parenting.

But the sad truth is that I almost never went to my Dad and asked his advise, and that was a mistake. So, now as a grandfather, I am going to take it upon myself to say what my father probably wishes he could have said. So, grandfathers, maybe you can find a way to share this post with your sons or sons-in-law and invite their feedback. If you’re a young dad, I hope you put these ten things into practice for your sake and your family’s sake.

So, here goes…


  1. You matter a lot in your child’s life. Don’t check out. Being at home is not the same as being engaged. Your kids need you to connect with them and be part of their world.
  2. Figure out what’s really important—and then make it so. Check your heart; what are your idols? If you want to truly love your children (and wife), make sure you love God/Christ above all. Don’t settle for being nothing more than a fan of Jesus. Be a real follower!
  3. Don’t do the parenting thing on your own. Parenting is not supposed to be one-generational. Your parents may not be perfect, but they do have something to contribute. Build a partnership and ask for their advice—often. And remember to seek out the wisdom of other godly fathers. While I don’t subscribe to all the underlying implications sometimes associated with the statement, “It’s takes a village to raise children,” I do believe that God intended that kids are most effectively raised by more than the nuclear family. It’s a multi-generational process.
  4. Every child needs a father’s blessing. Closely guard what comes out of your mouth. Cultivate an environment of blessing, not cursing, and make sure you speak blessing often. Download my Blessing Kit to learn how to build a tradition of spoken blessing in your home. Take the bull by the horns, be a man, and lead the way!
  5. Make sure you are building a legacy worth outliving you. Don’t allow yourself to become a barn builder consumed with bigger and more stuff. Your career success and a lavish lifestyle are not what really matter to your kids…or your wife. If you don’t believe me, sit down and ask them.
  6. Take tough-love discipline seriously. Tough discipline is not abuse, but make sure it’s not! Discipline is a true act of love, and it can be hard. The Bible says that even God disciplines those He loves. It also says that a man who “spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him” (Prov. 13:24). “Discipline your son,” Proverbs 19:18 says, “for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.”
  7. You are not your kids’ BFF. You are their parent, so act like one. This means sometimes you have to step up to the plate and do some hard things, like setting reasonable boundaries and enforcing them. Make sure you and your wife are on the same page or your kids will pay the price. Boundaries are part of the disciplinary process, so don’t throw them out there if you don’t intend to enforce them. It can never be about what’s comfortable for you. It’s what is good for your children.
  1. Your kids need to see how a man ought to treat a woman by the way you treat your wife. Ask yourself: Is the way I treat my wife how I would want my daughter treated by another man? Is it the way I would want my son to treat another woman? Set the example for both your sons and daughters. And by the way… never ever allow your children (especially your sons) to disrespect their mother!
  2. Take seriously your responsibility to prepare your children for adulthood. It’s your job to disciple them, not the church’s. Somebody is teaching your kids. Make sure it’s you! Enlist the help of your parents in this process even if it was never part of your upbringing. Encourage them to be involved. They are a vital piece for helping you succeed as a parent in raising your children to become mature, responsible, and godly adults.
  3. The priority of praying for your kids must never be doubted. Create your own war room where you can pray and intercede on their behalf. And be sure to spend time with your wife praying for your kids. Enlist their grandparents to do the same. We have Scriptures to Pray cards that can help you in this. Pick up a copy of Mark Batterson’s little book, Praying Circles Around Your Children and go through it together.

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The Synergy of the Generations

If the Church hopes to be relevant and meet the needs of the twenty-first century and beyond, it must be willing to undergo a paradigm shift. The Elijah to Elisha Revolution confronts the status quo by challenging the Church to reexamine many of its assumptions. One of these assumptions is what could be called the “quick escape mentality.” Continue reading

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To get rid of this Monster

Releasing some random thoughts today.

For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there among them.” (‭Matthew‬ ‭18‬:‭20‬ HCSB)

So it is about ‘togethering’ (I know, not a word), His name and at least more then me, where He suddenly makes it many, like the mathematics of: 2 fish + 5 bread + Jesus = thousands!
So my conclusion is then: you + me + Jesus = gathering! And when we add Spirit, it is invisible connected to the thousands, even the millions. Continue reading

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expectation |ɛkspɛkˈteɪʃ(ə)n|: a strong belief that something will happen or be the case: reality had not lived up to expectations | [ mass noun ] :  I sat down in expectation of a feast of nostalgia.• a belief that someone will or should achieve something: students had high expectations for their future.• (expectationsarchaic one’s prospects of inheritance.


Waiting for something to happen or someone to come! That is what I read on the face of this beautiful little (grand)child! Her name is Selah and she lives a life full of expecting, always eager to meet, to smile, to huge when someone enters the door or to get her coat when someone (her grandfather) leaves!

I was thinking of the verse: Romans 8:19-21
For the creation eagerly waits with anticipation for God’s sons to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to futility—not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it—in the hope that the creation itself will also be set free from the bondage of corruption into the glorious freedom of God’s children.

The verse above says CREATION as it is build in Gods creation to expect, to eagerly wait for the fulfilment of its destiny! That is what I see in the still so pure and simple heart of this child and that is what I ask daily to be of childlike innocence! You can see this look all over when you take the time to observe, to receive the innocence of those children. In the same time you can recognise the pain and rejection when the expectation is not noticed or met!

anticipation |antɪsɪˈpeɪʃ(ə)nnoun [ mass noun ] the action of anticipating something; expectation or prediction: her eyes sparkled with anticipation | they manned the telephones in anticipation ofa flood of calls.• Music the introduction in a composition of part of a chord which is about to follow in full.

For today I pray:
Father, remove every concept, every mindset, every thought that keeps me from exception without imagining (creating a carved image) so I will always be surprised by the things You will do today! Help me to see, recognise and meet the expectation of the ‘children’ and be Your Presence of confirmation to the identity of the innocence!

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Teacher vs. Father

By Joshua Horak

For though you have countless guides [teachers] in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 4:15, ESV)

It was my 13th birthday. Tragedy struck. My parents announced to my sister and I that they were getting a divorce. My father was removed from my home.

Despite this tragedy, Father God remained faithful to me throughout my youth and into adulthood by giving me a handful of spiritual father’s. Now that I am both a natural and spiritual father, I recognize that as His Grace. Because of the divorce, I should have been a statistic. However, God altered this probability by ‘fathering’ me through the skin of godly men who chose to invest time in me and love me despite my weaknesses and failures. Continue reading

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This Generational Faith

Deuteronomy 6:4-9: Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.


As I wrote in my last blog, a wonderful awareness of responsibility is arising Continue reading

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Songs of Ascents (12) – A Childlike Spirit

Psalm 131

A Childlike Spirit

A Davidic song of ascents.

Lord, my heart is not proud;
my eyes are not haughty.
I do not get involved with things
too great or too difficult for me.
Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself
like a little weaned child with its mother;
I am like a little child.

Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
both now and forever.

And just for the record, I did not write this Psalm!
I can easily get involved in things that are too great or too difficult for me and I still have to deal with the proud heart and the haughty eyes! I have to calm and quiet myself constantly when the pressure gets too high and the battle is so intense!
But, I can say with an honest heart, in the midst of all those errors, my Hope is only, but only on the Lord while my spirit deals with the movements of my soul!

My deepest longing, besides the great visions that I carry and pursue is, to be like a little child, and to fully live with the Childlike Spirit!

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Songs of Ascents (9) – Fearing God

Psalm 128

Blessings for Those Who Fear God

A song of ascents.

How happy is everyone who fears the Lord,
who walks in His ways!
You will surely eat
what your hands have worked for.
You will be happy,
and it will go well for you.
Your wife will be like a fruitful vine
within your house,
your sons, like young olive trees
around your table.
In this very way
the man who fears the Lord
will be blessed.

Continue reading

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Poison in the Classrooms

I knew about Sweden, about it’s humanistic approach! I knew about the dangerous hidden agenda of the past 60 years to take over the responsibility of the parents and form the mind of the children from young age! I have been confronted with the poor insight of fatherhood and motherhood, the weak protection over families, but…

Just this weekend it came too close as I was in between, shock, anger, desperation and violence as our little grandson stood there, tears of fear going to sleep, having nightmares about blood and monsters. Tears of loneliness were running his face and it was hurting us deep and strong. You have to understand that this little fellow is as stable as a little kid can be, raised in the safety of his home, balanced and with a strong identity. After a long talk, where your hearts breaks seeing the deep, deep sorrow and pain, we found out that his classroom and teachers were not the safety we hoped it/they would be.

Before you are trying to explain about children and safety and everything else, remember that we are talking a little 6 years old, with total trust and innocence entering the world of the adults!

No, it was physical abuse…

Please watch before we continue!

Besides the pain of a grandparent, my opinion: Sick, evil, irresponsible and close to abuse! Stupid, twisted mind actors, paid by who ever immature adult that is, who decide to enter the “safe” environment where we bring our children and in just in a minute kills the innocence of a 6 year old. And, as we know by now, when this kids grow into 8, again the attack comes about sexual “education” and then again at 10 and 11 and 12 and so on!

Place of Crime? This little innocence looking, red painted village school!
I just wonder honestly what went on in the mind of the teacher and it scares me that nothing in her system resists this attack and restores safety in the classroom. It does not really helps to trust the coming days, weeks, months and years!

How wonderful is my grandson’s situation as we notice, we see the emotional reacting, we are aware of the change of his inner being, but what about all this poor other kids, who can’t sleep, bothering their parents, not being understood, which create the loneliness and unsafe feelings. We are so keen on the sexual abuse issues showing up and do everything to make sure these thing do not happen, but what about theses things.

…and by now I know they can discuss our “taste” and find us a little over protective.

But maybe there are more out there who think: enough is enough! Who understand that we can no longer be silent.

As the days past by, gladly, the community reacted as I (not being Swedish) asked about their (Swedish) opinion! “Disgusting, sick, bad taste, unsafe, unnecessary”… Good, that helps!
“So lets sit as christian families and take a stand!” one replied. Yes, let’s do that but… Don’t make it a Christian issue, because than they can set it aside! No, this is not a christian issue, although the bible, being a christian, is the reason why we reject these kind of things. No, this is a moral issue and that will take us to “court” and fight it!

So, what system do we talk about then?

It would be great not thinking too much conspiracy, as we as christians are so good in that. The best thing is to thing responsible, fighting a fight we can win and this is where Jesus challenged us! Connect, find the hearts, because we do not battle the “flesh and blood”! We war agains a principality that has influence in the mindsets, which influences the way of handling. The other way around is what the word is arising us through Romans 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It are patterns that are in the system, the way we handle and it helps when we influence the renewing of “seeing” things, by questioning the motives in a relational way.

So… from an angry Grandfather, concerned about the mindset that is surrounding us, I approached the Throne, laid down my anger, sadness and concerns and asked for a battle I could win. An action that is within the boundaries of my responsibility in order to move with a God-given authority!

The statement of a mother that wrote me:
We are going to take the Mountain of Education, but we are not putting our children in the frontline in this fight.

No, we will not put our children in the frontline of this fight!

What a great verse about “teaching”:
Deuteronomy 4:9 “Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren.”

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Raising kids – Part Three

This is part 3 of a (re)blog by Annwen Stone
I must admit that the teenage years have, in the past, been something that I have worried about. The classic ‘Kevin’ overnight change as they turn 13, the potential rebellion, the secrecy of choices that could be life affecting. A good friend with grown up kids was recently recounting about the joy that these years had been to them. It gave me hope that these years don’t have to be difficult and troubled. With the right strategy and tactics the teenage years can be a time of great joy as the investment you have made in the previous years starts to reap its reward: our children can become healthy, independent, and mature young adults that make good choices.

Just to recap – we have been looking at how Jesus’ model of leadership (the Square) can be a tool we can use in our parenting. In the last post we looked at how the first two seasons of his leadership (L1 and L2) had built the culture and demonstrated the vision. He had given them grace and encouragement when they felt like they were failing in fear. He was very much taking the lead in the last season. But as the disciples matured, his tactics changed. The next stages of the square (L3 and L4), which are relevant to parenting teenagers, involved a transition for the disciples. It’s no longer a directive leader approach. Instead, it has become more relational; more like friendship.


Now remember – without the first two stages this would have been impossible. Without establishing his vision and his ways as their foundation, it would have been too easy for them to just run off and do their own thing! This season of his leadership is marked by the phase “you do it and I will help”.

As this friendship has grown, they have loved to hang out together. But before long, he drops the bombshell that he will be leaving them. Although they are unsure about this, deep down they have been prepared and grown in confidence. They are ready. It’s still a stretch, but it’s the right time for this challenge to continue to represent him without his physical presence there.

As my own children haven’t yet entered this season, I had the privilege of interviewing some parents who have been through this part of the journey and were happy to share their findings:


“Firstly we realised early on that we needed to eliminate the ‘yes’ or ‘no’ outcomes from conversations with the children. We realised that this kind of highly directional approach with older children can just breed potential rebellion. If I end up saying ‘do this’, they either comply (but inwardly resent not understanding why you have asked that) or they say ‘no’ and we end up in a conflict situation.

We started with the scenarios where there would be consequences, but not life changing ones. We gave opportunity to learn from the little daily situations that can inform the bigger more serious ones. Bed times were a prime example of this. For example, if we were leaving them with a babysitter we would often be asked the question “what time shall I go to bed tonight?” We would use this as an opportunity to say “well what do you think? What kind of day is it? Do you have school tomorrow?” We enabled them to see that they could make a joint decision. That they could weigh up potential consequences and form a decision based on the potential outcomes.

The questions would change over time and the scenarios would involve more responsibility. There were times where they wanted to attend late night parties. We would engage with them on what circumstances they might face there and process with them how they would respond. It was a lot of discussion and reflection. We had to create time, as they consistently needed us to be highly accessible – not just available every now and again. This stage was crucial to them forming reasoning and independence.

We can’t assume that our kids know how to handle certain situations; we need to discuss out loud and look at scenarios and consequences as part of their formation into adulthood.

It’s also helpful to recognise both your natural tenancies in how you lead and parent, and your child’s natural tendencies in how they follow. Every child is different. One of ours is more naturally independent and wants to rush ahead into life and therefore meets situations where we have to give really clear boundaries. Extended family has been key for this child. Having a place she can process outside of her parents, usually with a cool young adult, saying the same things as us but without the emotion of the parental/child relationship. Another one of our children is more naturally willing to sit back, so we have to push her to help her take steps towards independence.

We have found the teenage years to be a time of teaching them continuous processing through their circumstances, fears, peer pressures, and opportunities. They tend to swing back and forth from feeling increasing confidence and stepping out, back to feeling insecure and unsure. In order to get them to a place of healthy independence (L4) – which should be our greatest desire as parents – we need to maintain a strong connection and keep giving them opportunities to process things well. We need to become a place in their lives that, no matter what choices they have made, they are received with love and given grace.”


When Jesus ascended he left 12 rough and ready disciples. They were barely adolescents in their faith. But he knew it was time for him to commission them in to their next phase of discipleship. He had created a culture and shown them the pattern to follow. He had released them and enabled them. He had given them all they needed to take the next steps. And his Holy Spirit was poured out for them to know they were never alone.

In the same way that Jesus never stops discipling us, we never stop being parents to our children. It’s just the how that changes. Knowing the ‘season’ of parenting we are in helps us to learn from Jesus and parent like he would.

Annwen is married to Andy and together they lead The King’s Centre, part of Network Church Shefffield (NCS). Andy and Annwen have 3 children, Caleb (11), Toby (9) and Elly (6)


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What Fantastic Fathers Do

At the beginning of this promising year I choose to post this blog from a ministry called Every Man Ministries


Parenting children is such a mammoth responsibility. From infant through adulthood, children rely on their parents in more ways than the pocketbook. While no one is the perfect parent, certain parenting behaviors have serious negative effects on children. For example, studies show poor parenting can lead to higher risk for psychological disorders, academic performance problems, depression and low self-esteem, violence and behavior problems, failure to thrive, problems with the law, and poor social adjustment.

I would add that absent fathers, leave girls and boys without a role model for how the family unit is supposed to work, how to have a healthy loving marriage, and how a man lives out his faith in good times and bad. This has devastating impact on our economy.

The kids are watching…waiting… learning. The question is how, what, when and where should you be teaching them?

7 Ground Rules to Becoming Fathers of Future

1.  Be a Good Shepherd.

First, for a baseline understanding of fathering, let’s look at John 10:11-13, where Jesus teaches a powerful parenting concept comparing the “good shepherd” and the “hired hand.”

“I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. The hired hand is not the shepherd and does not own the sheep. So when he sees the wolf coming, he abandons the sheep and runs away. Then the wolf attacks the flock and scatters it. The man runs away because he is a hired hand and cares nothing for the sheep.” –John 10:11-13

From this metaphor, there are at least two major thoughts we can apply to fathering:

  • Accept responsibility and be available. Don’t act like a hired hand and be absent when they need you the most. Jesus said the good shepherd is willing to lay down his life for his sheep. If you act like a hired-hand, your children will be vulnerable to danger.
  • Look out for your children. A good shepherd, or father, is on the lookout for danger, sharing his experience while the sheep are grazing unaware of the worldly enemy.

2.   Be a Role Model.

Remember “wysiwyg” (what you see is what you get)? The same goes with your kids. One doctor I know says the key to getting your kid to do anything is to do it yourself. Want your kids to eat healthy? Eat healthy. Want them to lead a life of faith? Show them. Start by living it in your own life so your kids can see it in action. Demonstrate your commitment and the value you place in an ongoing relationship with God.

3.  Set the Stage.

Throughout your child’s life, your parenting will go through phases, morphing according their age and stage in life. These are the parenting stages and associated roles:

  • Infant = Servant. Your primary role is to be a servant while your children grow from infant through young childhood.
  • Youth = Trainers. You will teach and train your child from a young age through adolescents about how life works, the family system, biblical and academics.
  • Teenager = Coach. You become more of a coach around the teenage years, mentoring instead of force-feeding.
  • Adult = Friend. If all goes well, after your child leaves the home, they will look to you as a friend, and capable advisor.

4.  Build Relational Capital.

If you invest time, talk, and touch throughout your parenting, you will make deposits into a relational bank account with your children. This relational capital gives children the freedom to communicate openly about issues, be honest about problems and trust your parenting.

  • Time — Make time to spend with your kids.
  • Talk — Talking often involves the practice of listening more than speaking.
  • Touch — Your kids need to “feel your presence.”

 5.  How Should You Teach?

Do you punish or parent? I suggest parenting through explaining your experience with consequences. With proper warning, discipline when appropriate. But don’t be the heavy hand that dishes out punishment. Discipline guides and corrects. Punishment penalizes and rejects.

  • “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” — Ephesians 6:3
  • “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.” — Colossians 3:21

6.  What Should You Teach Them?

  • The Bible. You need to know the scriptures that apply to daily living, and so do your kids. 2 Timothy 3:16 says All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness…”
  • What’s important. The most important commandment is found in Deuteronomy 6: 5-7, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children.”

7.  When & Where Should You Teach Them?

The Bible specifically tells us to teach our kids about God during four times and locations: when you wake up, when you go to sleep, when you’re at home, and when you’re traveling. These are four times when we are not busy with work or school, play time or with friends.

 “Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” –Deuteronomy 6:7-8


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Empowering the Next Generation

This is why I focus, why I speak, why I write, why I have challenged and why I believe you have to do it too!

“The coming generation in the Kingdom is awesome! But they have to learn and connect with the former if they shall reach their full potential.” A quote that I picked from someone I follow on twitter. My reaction-tweer was: “Yes, the coming generation in the Kingdom is awesome! So lets connect with them and guide them into their full potential!

So let US connect with them and let us take all the effort it needs to guide them, to serve them without being stupid in taking a standpoint of level. I know the guy who wrote the tweet and I know there is no way he meant the negative part, but it stirred up something in my spirit as it reflects the reaction I see around me!

Last weekend I lost a key from the house of our daughter. It is a rented place which means that the whole lock needed to be replaced when they move again. A lot of money…
My wife and I took the time to think, rethink, seek, look and look again. All the places where we thought it could be and no result. In a way a little stressing, even “knowing” that He is in control. On a morning we felt an urge to pray again to find it and my wife stated: Father we need this key as it stands for the doors that needs to be opened concerning the struggle in the young families. Please gives us a visible answer so we know you will give us the “keys” to this family and loneliness problem.
We found the key just an hour later and with it we received the promise of Wisdom! Praise God!

This morning, while being in the prayer room the urge of knowing the solutions for an arising generation came up so strongly as we are with a lot of grandchildren around us. As we stood there we begged the Lord for wisdom, resources, strength and unity in dealing with the challenge. I know we are hitting the target and I know, wisdom and resources and provision will flow to the places of “need”, to the people of purpose and to the generation that cries out!

In many areas God is building a strong and generational work in the hearts of the people and with it God is filling the Storehouses in the years to follow. I hope you connect with us in every way to spend time, effort and money in it!